Soiled blonde man meat Ryan Gosling, who performed Ken in the summertime blockbuster Barbie, is outraged that the Oscars have snubbed his co-star and director.
Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie weren’t nominated for Greatest Director or Greatest Actress.
The horror!
What’s extra, the Academy tapped Gosling for best-supporting actor, which – in accordance with Barbie code of honor – compelled him to bear ritual self-flagellation.
‘There is no such thing as a Ken with out Barbie, and there’s no Barbie film with out Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie…’ he stated in a breathless assertion rushed out to the media.
Nicely, that is true of a variety of motion pictures, Ryan.
You additionally want cameramen and caterers!
Do they deserve a golden statue?
It is troublesome to think about how Gosling’s ‘everybody will get a prize’ commonplace would work in follow. However what else ought to we count on from a plastic man with no genitals?
You may nearly hear the infant goose’s unbearable blubbering, which is, after all, wholly disingenuous until he withdraws his identify from consideration.
You wish to overthrow the patriarchy, boy? Hold yo’ identify out of Academy voters’ mouths, hero!
Soiled blonde man meat Ryan Gosling , who performed Ken in the summertime blockbuster Barbie, is outraged that the Oscars have snubbed his co-star and director. Greta Gerwig and Margot Robbie weren’t nominated for Greatest Director or Greatest Actress.
The Academy tapped Gosling for best-supporting actor, which – in accordance with Barbie code of honor – compelled him to bear ritual self-flagellation.
However maybe the juiciest, most satisfying irony of all of that is that the helpless, fool boy doll bought the award – whereas the proud, courageous Barbie women bought nothing.
And I assumed solely The Handmaid’s Story was a real story.
The vicious international cabal of misogynist movie critics has triumphed but once more!
Oh please, I can not cease laughing.
I need to admit I did not watch Barbie over the summer season as a result of I used to be busy doing actually anything I might probably consider.
The galumphing $150 million advertising and marketing blitzkrieg (greater than the $145 million manufacturing finances!) made all of it really feel very cultish – and when the gang turns a method, I have a tendency to go within the different.
It turned verboten for anybody – not to mention a cis white man (hisss) – to utter something however glowing reward. And when fanatics festooned in fuchsia began lining up exterior early premieres shrieking with delight – that was it for me.
However final night time, I lastly gave in to the late Pepto Bismol hype amid the rising uproar over faux dollies receiving a really actual snub.
Actually, I needed to find it irresistible. I needed to really feel flush with cotton sweet lady energy and hope.
As an alternative, I used to be robbed of two hours of my life by a Hollywood amalgam of ‘Legally Blonde’ and ‘Every thing In every single place All At As soon as’ extruded out on-screen in a steaming neon pile of zero-sum misandry.
The place is the Lady Code guide that claims you need to hate males to realize gender parity?
Barbie’s phony dreamworld is as cloying as Care Bears and as empty as her teacup.
I can not imagine I am scripting this however… the Academy bought it proper. This film type of sucks.
Maybe the juiciest, most satisfying irony of all of that is that the helpless, fool boy doll bought the award – whereas the proud, courageous Barbie women bought nothing.
The galumphing $150 million advertising and marketing blitzkrieg (greater than the $145 million manufacturing finances!) made all of it really feel very cultish – and when the gang turns a method, I have a tendency to go within the different.
The units and colours had been no extra vibrant than SpongeBob SquarePants (with far fewer laughs and fewer profundity).
Why wasn’t that cinematic masterpiece blessed with an Oscars nod?
Tom Kinney’s SpongeBob is Tom Hanks in comparison with Margot Robbie. However you do not hear Patrick Star whining and sniveling the way in which Gosling did about his spurned castmates.
The course was… superb. The script was… what you’d count on of a Mattel-sponsored doll-a-thon.
And America Ferrara did a stunning job delivering a brave speech tickling all the precise id politics hotspots and in regards to the impossibility of womanhood, which I suppose means we’re again to 2 genders and combating for equality in life and, oh I do not know, sport?
The left is falling throughout itself to demand an awards reception only for Barbie, however they’re actually championing a film that seeks to keep up a conventional gender established order. How revolutionary!
Worse, a barrage of irrelevant clout chasers are utilizing this second to castrate half of society.
Enter our favourite largest loser, perpetual girl sufferer, Hillary Clinton.
She penned this barf-worthy publish on X, detest to overlook her place on the pity occasion:
Greta & Margot,
Whereas it may well sting to win the field workplace however not take house the gold, your thousands and thousands of followers love you.
You are each a lot greater than Kenough.
#HillaryBarbie
Sit this one out, America’s pantsuit. You aren’t the casualty of the massive unhealthy patriarchy.
Sit this one out, America’s pantsuit.Â
You aren’t the casualty of the massive unhealthy patriarchy.Â
Dry your eyes and blame your individual horrible instincts, warmongering, unlikability and shoddy politicking. And want I point out your bullying of your husband’s sexual abuse accuser?
Rah, rah sisterhood!
Hillary single-handedly set girls again a era in politics, and attempting to water her dry status with Barbie fan tears is nauseatingly determined.
If solely James Comey and people Latvian bot farms hadn’t thwarted poor Barbie!
Now can I please have my two hours again whereas I rewatch Oppenheimer?